


Hearts & Crafts

by Monokarhu



Category: Persona 4, Persona Series, 逆転裁判 | Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:40:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28227795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monokarhu/pseuds/Monokarhu
Summary: The best Christmas present is a handmade one.The second-best is half a pound of chocolate.
Relationships: Ichijou Mikumo | Kay Faraday/Kuma | Teddie (Persona Series)
Kudos: 2





	1. Diorama-rama

To most people, a quiet roommate is a blessed roommate.

Yosuke, however, isn't 'most people.' Whenever Teddie stops making a racket for about half an hour, he becomes a nervous wreck because it almost always means that Teddie has either broken something, is in the middle of breaking something, or has a plan that will inevitably lead to something being broken.

"God dammit," Yosuke grumbled as he pulled out the earbud he had in his left ear. He had just noticed it had been half an hour to the minute since the last time he had heard from Teddie, and he had said nothing about going outside. "Guess I gotta go look." He stood up, grabbed a magazine from the table, rolled it up, and left the room. "Where are youuuu?" he asked tenderly. "If you've broken something, don't worry, I won't whack you on the head with a magazine this tiiiime."

Seeing no trace of Teddie — apart from a few scattered chocolate bar wrappers here and there — anywhere, he eventually reached the kitchen. Peering inside, he noticed a vaguely Teddie-shaped lump slouching over the kitchen table, mumbling quietly to itself.

"You're not trying to fix something you just broke, are you?" Yosuke asked pointedly, gently whapping his left hand with the rolled-up idol mag he had.

"Whuh?" Teddie asked, not diverting his attention from whatever he was doing. "No, I'm making a present! For Kay-chan!"

"Huh," Yosuke said before unfurling the magazine. "I didn't know 'being quiet while doing something' was in your wheelhouse." He looked over Teddie's shoulder and saw Teddie gently painting what seemed to be a small diorama of a bench.

"Isn't it pretty? Accurate, too!"

"Accurate to... what?" Yosuke asked before he looked around the table a bit and noticed a photo taken outside. "Oh, it's that one bench that's on the road between here and Junes."

"Yeah!" Teddie exclaimed cheerfully.

"So she's into benches, huh," Yosuke said sarcastically and snickered. After a moment of quiet contemplation, his expression went blank. "...Is she?" he asked, genuinely curious.

"No, you simpleton," Teddie chastised him. "Well, she could be, but the point of this diorama isn't just the bench, it's to show a place that's important to us as a couple! It's like our bearsonal little oasis!"

"That's kinda cute, I guess," Yosuke said, slightly impressed by Teddie's thoughtfulness. "So are you going to make-"

"Miniatures of Kay-chan and _moi_? Waaay ahead of you," Teddie said smugly before moving his arm a bit to reveal two small, previously-unseen figures.

"Huh. Can I look at them?"

"As long as you don't break them," Teddie said bluntly. "If you do, I may have to _whap_ you."

"...Point taken," Yosuke said humbly. He carefully picked up the whiter one of the two figures and examined it closely. "Yeah, that's definitely you," he said as he admired the attention to detail. The hair looked silky-smooth, the sitting posture was damn-near identical to Teddie's, and the ruffles on his shirt were... quite ruffly. He gently placed the figure back down and picked up the other one. He hadn't exactly seen Kay as much as he had Teddie, but her unmistakably unique attire was quite easy to remember — or perhaps 'quite hard to forget' — and Teddie had definitely captured its essence well. "You know, I never noticed her boots were that weird," he said, mostly to himself, as he placed the figure back down. "So did you use a photo of her as reference?"

"No, I made her completely out of my memory!" Teddie proclaimed proudly. "I've permanently burned every last inch of her into my mind's eye, you see. That's what true love's about!"

"...That's great," Yosuke said in a tone of voice that was equal parts impressed and worried. "I wonder if she remembers every inch of _you_ ," he continued, perhaps as a thinly-veiled, poor sex joke, perhaps not.

"There's definitely less of me to remember," he said and chuckled as he looked at the contrasting figures; one wearing a relatively simple outfit and the other wearing... what you'd probably get in a video game wardrobe if you pressed the 'randomize' button.

"True," Yosuke said blankly and nodded. "So have you ever thought about going pro with these things? This is some seriously impressive handiwork, you know."

"It's way too draining on my poor bod," Teddie lamented as he placed his hand on his forehead, trying his best to imitate a fair maiden who hath fallen on hard times. "I'm not sure if I can do _any_ work for days, if not _weeks_ , after this!"

"I sure hope you're not talking about _work_ work," Yosuke said in an overly calm tone as a familiar rhythmic whapping noise resumed behind Teddie.

"I-I was just kidding! Humor! Ha ha!" Teddie said and raised his arms, almost knocking over a small can of paint. "You know Christmas is my _favorite_ season to be working in customer service! Ha ha. Ha. Haaaaah," he exclaimed before lowering his arms and slouching back down. "Now let me be. I gotta finish this thing before I run out of creative juices and have to force myself to do it five minutes before gift-giving time."

"Okay," Yosuke said and started walking away. He stopped at the doorway, however. "So what do _you_ want for Christmas?" Teddie stopped what he was doing, turned around, and looked at Yosuke with lamentful eyes.

"I thought you _knew_ me," he said in a comically sad tone of voice. He then wiped away his nonexistent fake tears and put on his patented Christmas smile. "Snacks, of course!"

"Right. I'll see if I can find a good deal on half a pound of chocolate."

"...I guess that'll do," Teddie said and went back to work.


	2. You're Gonna Have a Badge Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the old saying goes, "the best Christmas present is a handmade one."

Janine sighed. When Kay had invited her over for 'something kinda urgent', a few possibilities emerged in her mind. However, none of them were 'judging the quality of Teddie's Christmas present'.

" _Couldn't she at least have waited until the damn thing was_ finished?" she thought to herself, laying on Kay's bed, staring at the ceiling. "Is it done yet?" she asked, lazily waving her left arm, which was limply hanging on the side of the bed.

"Almost," Kay replied from her desk. She was slouched over, carving the final details onto the present she was going to give her be(ar)loved. "Man, my back hurts."

"No wonder," Janine said bluntly. "You really oughta get one of those adjustable desks or something. If this keeps up, you'll be ringing bells in no time."

"Ha ha," Kay said dryly. "I'm not made of money, you know." She stuffed her tools back into a desk drawer, and then held up the object she had just been crafting; a badge depicting Teddie's very beary face. "I think it came out pretty good," she said and then suddenly threw it backwards. Janine was quite surprised, to say the least, and just bearly managed to sit up and snatch it out of the air thanks to her fast reaction time and quick reflexes, developed from years of trying her best to avoid schoolwork in class without the teachers noticing.

"What'd you do _that_ for!? It could've broken!" she yelled, shaking a little from the sudden adrenaline rush. Kay turned around with a smile on her face.

"I wanted to see if you've still 'got it'," she said before snickering. "Plus, it's made of metal, so if anything's going to break, it'd be the floor. Which would admittedly be worse, I think."

"Right," Janine said after letting out a hefty sigh. She carefully looked at the badge from various angles, and then rotated it around a bit to see the light reflecting from its shiny surface. "That's him, alright. You did a real good job capturing his emptyheadedness."

"Oh, don't be like that," Kay said and stood up. "He might be a _bit_ dim sometimes, but he's trying his best," she continued and snatched the badge from Janine's hand.

"Is he?" Janine asked sarcastically, looking Kay in the eye. Kay looked at the badge, and then out the window.

"Well... I like to think he's trying his best when it comes to _me_ , at least," she said noncommittally. "I _have_ heard rumors of him being a bit lazy about other stuff, but said rumors come from _unreliable sources_. And by that, I mean Yosuke."

"Uh-huh," Janine said. "Don't come complaining to me if he gives you a pair of socks. You know, ones he didn't make."

"We'll see," Kay said. She opened a drawer, pulled out a small ornamental box, closed the drawer, and put the badge into the box. "Do you think it'd be excessive if I gift-wrapped this too? It's a pretty nice box, isn't it?"

"He does strike me as the kinda guy who would _love_ to tear up giftwrap, so..."

"Good point," Kay said and reopened the drawer. She wrapped the box up very quickly and neatly thanks to her ninj- _thief_ skills and wrote Teddie's name, along with a heart, on top of it. "Pretty good work, even if I do say so myself." Janine stood up, snatched the present from Kay's hand, and examined it.

"Indubitably," she said in a sarcastically posh manner. "One can only hope your socks'll be wrapped up in a similarly grandiloquent manner."

"Oh, shut it," Kay grumbled and snatched the present back. "When he gives me the best Christmas present there's ever been, I'll make sure to rub it in your face _so_ hard."

"I hope you're not easily impressed by cheese graters, then," Janine said with an exceptionally pained smile on her face.

"What?" Kay said before thinking for a moment and having an epiphany. " _Ohh_ , I get it. It wasn't very funny, but I get it."

"Good," Janine said and grabbed her coat from the bed. "Welp, gotta run. Remember to get me what I asked for!" she yelled, running out the door.

"I don't think you asked for anything yet," Kay half-yelled back. After a moment, Janine popped her head back in from the doorframe.

"Oh yeah," she said. She thought for a moment, and then snapped her fingers. "Surprise me. Don't surprise me with a pair of socks, though." Kay snickered.

"Sounds fun," she said. "You can surprise me too." She put the present into her satchel and then looked back at Janine. "How about this; whoever comes up with the most surprising present wins."

"Wins what?"

"Half a pound of chocolate."

"Deal."


	3. Staring Out the Window

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ham gets burnt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And not a moment too late.
> 
> the fuck do you mean "it's march"

Teddie stared at the snowflakes dancing outside in the wind, cradling a mug of hot chocolate. He took a sip, and then another.

"Tasty!" he said out loud to no-one in particular. Kay, however, walked next to him just then, took a sip of hers too, and nodded silently in agreement. "I'm glad Sensei's here to make cocoa for us. I shudder to think what Yuki-chan would produce."

"I still have a hard time believing the food they make is as bad as you describe," Kay said, staring out the window.

"It's not," Teddie said and took a big gulp of his cocoa. "It's _worse_!"

"Ha ha," Kay said blankly and poked Teddie gently with her elbow. "Don't drink your cocoa that fast, you're going to choke on it. It's not gonna run away, is it?"

"You don't know that," Teddie responded before taking another swig. "I could accidentally drop this mug at any moment!"

Kay stared at him and slightly furrowed her brow. "...You've got a point, but, like, in the worst way possible." She took another sip of her own cocoa, turned away from the window, and hollered towards the kitchen. "Is the ham ready yet?"

"No," Yosuke responded.

"Soon," Yu added.

"Thanks, Yu," Kay hollered back before taking another cocoa sip with a self-satisfied grin on her face.

"You forgot to thank Yosuke," Teddie said gormlessly. "Also, I just drank the last of my cocoa. Be right back!" He sprinted into the kitchen, almost tripping on the carpet, leaving Kay to stare at her own reflection in the window.

"Looking good as usual," she said.

"Someone's awfully self-confident," someone said behind her, causing her to jump.

"O-Of course," she said quite unconfidently. She turned around and looked at Naoto's smile. She wasn't quite sure if it was _supposed_ to look condescending, but it did. "Gotta look good all the time in case I get caught by some hotshot detective, you know? The news aren't going to wait for me to clean up."

"I'll tell them to blur out your face," Naoto said and chuckled. She walked next to Kay, looked out the window, and sipped her cocoa. "Seriously though, I still think you should reconsider. Far be it for me to tell you not to follow your dreams, but... you know. It's still criminal activity, and considering the kinds of people you'd most likely go against, not very safe either."

"Oh, you worry too much," Kay said and patted Naoto on the back with a bit of force, surprising her and almost causing her to spill her drink. "I just have to not get caught!" Naoto looked Kay sternly in the eye, and then shifted her gaze to the Yatagarasu emblem badge shining on Kay's scarf. "...Okay, maybe I haven't thought of _everything_ yet," Kay said before taking a long, quiet sip out of her mug. "I wonder what's taking Teddie so long."

"Where did he go, again?"

"The kitchen, to get some more cocoa."

"Oh dear."

"What?"

Just as Kay said that, Teddie powerwalked out of the kitchen, mugless.

"Uhh... food's gonna be late," he said, smelling slightly of burnt ham.

"And why's that?" Kay asked, her expression indicating she already knew the answer.

"The ham needs some... fine-tuning," Teddie answered, awkwardly twiddling his thumbs.

"And whose fault is that?" Naoto asked pointedly.

"Only _partially_ mine, I'll have you know!" Teddie answered equally pointedly. "Yosuke _told me_ to put the tinfoil down, but he didn't specify _where_ , so blame him!" Naoto sighed and rubbed her forehead in exasperation.

"I'd place you under _bearrest_ for food crimes right now," Naoto said, causing Teddie to let out a small giggle, "but in the spirit of Christmas, I'm going to wait until after the festivities are over."

"Hehe, good joke," Teddie said, smiling brightly.

"Yes. Joke," Naoto said ominously, put her mug to her lips, and walked away, drinking her cocoa loudly. Teddie watched her walk away, and as he did, his smile slowly dissipated into a confused stare.

"I-It was a joke, right?" he asked, turning to Kay. "Right!?" She put her hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry, I'll get you the best lawyer the _bear_ association can muster," she said with a dumb grin on her face. "Anyway, would you like some of my cocoa? You seem to have forgotten yours."

"I didn't _forget_ it, it's just that there was so much chaos and... ah, never mind. Gladly!" Kay handed him her mug, and he took a big swig out of it. He then looked at the part of the rim he had just touched with his lips.

"He he. Indirect kiss."

"Oh, you," Kay said playfully. She then grabbed him by the collar and pulled his face real close to hers. "Would you like a _real_ one?"

"Let's not make Yosuke _too_ jealous," Teddie said worriedly, staring into Kay's anticipating eyes. "He might not give me any dessert if we do."

"Damn right!" Yosuke bellowed from the kitchen.

"So what you're saying is we should do it in private," Kay said.

"Yes," Teddie answered.

"Hey, I heard that!" Yosuke whined from the kitchen.

"And I don't care," Kay hollered back. "Since we're apparently not going to get food any time soon, let's go to _your_ room, shall we?" she asked Teddie, still holding him by the collar. He nodded rapidly.

"It's MY room, goddamn it!" Yosuke shouted. "...Just don't spill any cocoa on the sheets, or I'm _definitely_ not going to give you any dessert."

"Yeah, _yeah_ ," Teddie said in a tone of voice that made it abundantly clear to Yosuke that he'd have to wash the sheets later. Teddie wiggled out of Kay's grip, grabbed her hand, and started marching towards his room, beaming proudly as they went past a less-than-pleased Yosuke.

"I'm not jealous, okay?" he said.

"Sure," Yu replied. "After you're done not being jealous, could you pass me the salt?"

Yosuke grumbled.


	4. Presenting Presents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gifts are swapped, promises are made, and Yosuke's there too.

Teddie sat down on his closet-bed and patted the empty space next to him. Kay sat down next to him, and looked at the bikini-poster-adorned wall next to her.

"Yosuke's taste in home decor never gets old, does it," she said with a sneer on her face. "It _is_ his taste, right?"

"O-Of course," Teddie said as he was straightening his slightly wrinkled collar. After he was done, he pointed at Kay with both his hands as finger guns. "I only have my eyes on _you_ , after all!" he continued with a wink.

"I'm just kidding," Kay said cheerfully and waved her hand. "You know what they say; a growing boy needs his bikini posters." She went silent for a moment, squinted her eyes, and looked at Teddie carefully. "Assuming you _do_ grow."

"Of course I do!" Teddie proclaimed as he stood up. "Maybe not, like, physically, but I do learn a lot every day! Just this week, Yosuke has taught me two new curse words," he said excitedly, lifting up two fingers in front of Kay's face.

"'Taught' as in he told you what they mean, or 'taught' as in-"

"He yelled them at me for spilling my cocoa on his nurse magazines," he said and took a sip from his mug.

"I see," Kay said flatly. "I wish someone would tell him he could just download that stuff onto his computer. Though if he did that, I suppose I wouldn't get to hear all of these juicy stories. Hmm..."

"Nebear mind that! I wanna give you my present!" Teddie exclaimed. He put down his mug and jumped onto his bed, bearly avoiding Kay. He pushed aside his snacks and comics, and produced a giftwrapped square-ish object out of the pile of assorted junk (food). He squirmed out of the closet, sat down next to Kay, and handed the present to her.

"It's pretty big," she said, quietly admiring the quality of the wrapping work and wondering who Teddie had asked for help with it. She put it down next to her, reached into her bag, and pulled out Teddie's present.

"Ooh. It's small!" Teddie said as he grabbed it from Kay's hand. "Not that I'm complaining. You know what they say... uh... what was it..."

"Good things come in small packages?"

"Yeah, that!"

"Can't argue with that," Kay said quietly as she looked affectionately at her diminutive boyfriend.

"Can we open them now? Can we!?" Teddie asked, shaking in excitement.

"Sure thing, honey," Kay said as she, too, grabbed her present. "You first."

"Well, like they say, there's no time like... _the present_!" Teddie exclaimed as he looked at Kay with a goofy smile on his face and gently poked her with his elbow. She chuckled and gave him a hefty pat on the back, causing him to produce a sound along the lines of 'gfkh'.

"You and your puns," she said with a warm smile on her face. "Go on, then."

Upon being given permission, Teddie tore into the wrapping paper with such ferocity that Kay wouldn't have been surprised if he had suddenly _bit_ into it. " _Guess Janine was right once again_ ," she thought as she looked at his gleeful face being pelted with the occasional shred of paper. After he had utterly mangled the wrapping, he was left with a cute little box.

"I like it," Teddie said cheerfully, seemingly content with his lot.

"...There's something inside it too, honey."

"Ohh." He opened the box, looked inside, and pulled out the badge, lifting it up between his thumb and index finger like one would a particularly valuable jewel. "Wow, it looks just like _moi_!" he said, and began attaching it to his shirt. "Does this mean I'm part of the Yate- Yat- Yarat- the team now!?"

"Perhaps," she said slyly and winked. As Teddie began trying to attach the badge to his shirt, she grabbed her present and gently unwrapped it to reveal a small, square-ish glass case. Inside was the diorama he had worked hard on, and the base of the case had a tiny plaque that said "KAY <3 TEDDIE 4EVER" on it, either because it was too small to fit "FOREVER" or because Teddie couldn't spell.

"Do you like it?" Teddie asked, his gaze still fixated firmly on the badge he was desperately trying to attach to himself.

"I _love_ it," Kay said, her voice quivering in awe as she carefully studied every nook and cranny of the diorama. "You even got the pattern on my vest right and everything. This must've taken you _ages_!"

"Just a few hours, actually," Teddie said, still fumbling with the badge.

"Really? Wow," Kay said as she continued examining every tiny detail. "You could make a fortune with these things!"

"I'm afraid I can't," Teddie said glumly as he handed the badge to Kay. "Crafting something that detailed makes me _beary_ tired."

"That's a shame," Kay said. She put the diorama down and began attaching the badge to Teddie's shirt. "My craftwork doesn't tire me very much, but I suppose it's a lot simpler too. Well, at least I can now tell my friends I have an exclusive masterwork of art. Didn't even have to steal it!" she said with a chuckle. After she finally managed to affix the badge, Teddie stood up and posed proudly, letting his new emblem shine brightly.

"I could steal it from you and then you could steal it back!" he proposed. "I'm some kind of a thief now, after all... I think."

"I appreciate the thought, but I think I'll pass," Kay said, smiling. "You know, I have to say I feel a bit... inadequate as a gifter right now. Yours is just so much more... _awesome_."

"Oh, don't be like that," Teddie said and patted Kay's shoulder as he looked at the badge on his chest. "I love it!" He looked at the box on the bed. "The box, too!"

"That's good to hear." Kay reached into her bag and pulled out something wrapped in red. "I did get you this too, just in case." Teddie grabbed the supposed present and examined it closely.

"Second gift, huh? Don't mind if I do!" he said before tearing the snowflake-adorned wrapping to shreds in seconds, revealing a box of his favorite chocolates. "Wow, how'd you know this was exactly what I wanted?" he said as he stared at the box, drooling a bit.

"We might not know everything about each other yet, but I _do_ know that you like chocolate," Kay said in a jovially sarcastic tone.

"No, I mean, this is my _favorite_ chocolate!" Teddie clarified as he cracked the box open. He popped one piece of chocolate into his mouth and handed another to Kay. "Well, my favorite out of all the ones that can be bought at Junes, anyway. There's some unbelievably tasty stuff in specialty shops! Wish they had some here in Inaba..."

"Well, I, uh, just bought the one that looked the nicest," Kay said meekly. "If you've ever told me it was your favorite, I had completely forgotten. Sorry." She put the piece of chocolate into her mouth and started chewing on it. "Mmm. I can see why these are your favorites. 's good."

Teddie let out a small chuckle and pawed a few more chocolates into his mouth. "Oh, dhad's fide," he said through a mouthful of chocolate, spitting tiny chunks of it everywhere. Kay gave him a stern stare, causing him to stop and swallow. "Heheh, sorry." He sat down, stashed the box under his pillow, and put his hands together. "It's not like I remember everything about you either! I do remember your birthday, and your shoe size, and your favorite soda, and your favorite dessert..."

"That's so nice of you," Kay said with a warm smile on her face. "...Though I do have to wonder about the shoe size."

"Oh, that's simple," Teddie said, raising a finger as if he was about to make a point. "I might buy you shoes one day!"

"That's..." Kay said before stopping to ponder for a moment. "...thoughtful? Yeah, let's go with that." She patted him on the head gently. "Just remember that I only wear tabi, honey."

"Maybe you should try expanding your wardrobe a little bit, sweetie," Teddie said, patting her on the shoulder in return. "I know you're trying to have a recognizable look, but when your winter outfit consists of 'putting on some earmuffs,' I think you're taking it too far."

"Well, I _do_ wear a scarf too," she muttered quietly, being unable to really refute his point. As her gaze wandered a bit, she ended up looking at Teddie's spare outfit and Alice dress hanging on the wall. "Maybe we should both go clothes-shopping. It's not like your wardrobe's that expansive either."

"True, true," Teddie said, nodding his head. "...Can I try on some girl clothes with you?"

"Sure."

"...In the same changing room?" he continued carefully, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Don't push your luck," she said, smiling. She lifted the coat hanger carrying the Alice dress from the wall and pushed it against Teddie's chest. "You do look awfully good in girls' clothes. Almost making me jealous." After a moment of unfocused staring and mild drooling, she thought of something quite wily. "Say, honey..."

"Yes?"

"I gave you two Christmas presents, so it'd only be fair if you gave me two too, right?"

"Can't argue with that."

"Put this on, then."

"Okay!" Teddie said joyously as he snatched the dress from Kay's hand.

"...I thought you'd give _some_ resistance."

Teddie shrugged. "Why would I? I'd do _anything_ for you, sweetie!" He then leaned closer to Kay and surreptitiously whispered into her ear. "Bearsides, it's kinda fun to do."

"That's good to hear," Kay said, "but I was thinking more about the fact that we're still in the middle of a party. What if someone walks in? They'd think you're weird... or I'm weird... or we're _both_ weird!"

"Nonsense," Teddie said, shooing any doubt away by waving his hands. "This isn't even the weirdest thing I've done this month!"

"Well, if you say so," Kay said. She steepled her fingers and hunched forward. "Do it."

Teddie laid the dress on the bed, excitedly stood up, lifted his shirt, unbuckled his belt, pulled his pants down, and turned towards the door as he heard it open.

"Well, that was quick," he said in his underwear. Yosuke walked in, closed the door, looked at Teddie, finally noticed that his pants were down, and scrunched his face into an expression that could only be labeled as 'severe disappointment.'

"...I assume there's a rational explanation for this," he said through his gritted teeth.

"O-Of course there is," Teddie stuttered. "You see, Kay-chan gave me two presents, and I only gave her one, so she wanted another and told me to put the dress on, so I was taking my clothes off for that!" he explained rapidly.

Yosuke turned his dismayed stare towards Kay, who remained unfazed. "Really?" he asked. " _Really_? _Now_?"

"Well, I _did_ tell him someone could walk in," she said, still steepling her fingers. "I'm just glad it was you," she continued, her expression turning slightly more wily.

"The hell is that supposed to mean?" Yosuke asked.

"You already think of both of us as weird anyway, and I know for a fact that you won't tell anyone," Kay answered. Yosuke crossed his arms in a huff and leaned his back on the room door.

"And what makes you think that?" he asked.

"You wouldn't be that mean to your _brother_ , would you?" Kay answered.

"Yeah!" Teddie said in response.

"I might," Yosuke said pointedly, "after all he's done to me."

"Well, if that's not enough to convince you to keep quiet, I do have some... _information_ about your... _proclivities_ that you might not want to get out," Kay said, still steepling her fingers. Yosuke uncrossed his arms and sighed.

"Is this about my goddamn nurse magazines?"

"You're very perceptive, I'll give you that," Kay said. "You wouldn't want everyone to hear about them, now would you?"

"Everyone _HAS_ heard about them, god damn it!" Yosuke yelled, as if he was blaming someone in the room for it.

"I feel for you," Teddie said pensively, hanging his head low.

"They know because of _YOU_ , you goddamn-" Yosuke shouted, pointing a finger at Teddie. However, he quickly remembered that trying to lecture Teddie was about as smart as trying to herd goldfish. "Ugh, forget it. What I came here to tell you is that we managed to salvage some of the ham, so food's basically done." He opened the door and was about to walk out, but stopped. "And for the love of God, pull up your pants." He was about to walk out a second time, but stopped again. "Nice badge, by the way," he said very sarcastically.

"Hehe, thanks," Teddie said, punctuated by the door slamming shut. He lifted his pants, managed to buckle his belt (eventually), and walked over to Yosuke's desk. He ripped off a piece from a sheet of paper, scribbled something onto it, and walked over to Kay to hand it to her.

"What's this?" she asked. She then looked at it, and could just barely make out "I O U 1 dres weareing" in Teddie's... _eccentric_ handwriting. "Aww, thanks. So when can I claim this?"

"Any time, baby!" Teddie proclaimed as he sat down. "...Well, maybe not right now." He grabbed the Alice dress from the bed and looked at it. "I mean, unless you want me to eat in this."

"I'm pretty sure everyone would think of me as a freak if I did that," Kay said. She took out her cute pink wallet and stuffed the voucher inside. "Guess I'll save it for a rainy day!"

"Works for me," Teddie said. He put the dress back up on the wall. "Anyway, let's go eat. I'm starving!"

"Haven't you eaten, like, half of that box of chocolates already?"

"They call that an 'appetizer' in France, sweetie."


End file.
